Entry Category: Default Category
Published On: 10-05-2008 06:40 AM

So I'm going to write a songfic for your guys, okay?
If you don't know what the is, it's writing fiction/fan fiction accompanied by lyrics of a song that fit the situation. Here's the song if you wanna hear it, it's become my favorite, though I'll be using the English lyrics for the fic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GpDavEFOQw

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Wretched...
I'm lost in the darkness
I hold myself, tightly




A young feminine figure lay on the cold barren ground in the middle of a lifeless field. She was probably the only thing alive for miles, which is the reason as to why the young girl, who couldn't be any more then sixteen years old, was there on the ground in the first place, she was the only thing alive there... with the body of the most important person in her life just a few feel below her in the ground.

Her long dark hair stuck to her wet cheeks, wet from hours of crying for the one she couldn't bring back.
Her arms were wrapped around herself tightly, she didn't have anybody to hold but herself.



I'm still awake
Waiting...



No, the man under the earth wasn't a friend, he wasn't a lover either, in fact he hated her, she knew he didn't want anything to do with her but still she'd come after him to try and ask for his forgiveness, she cared about him. There was nothing else she could do.

Even if he still hated her despite her efforts, she didn't care, as long as she could hear his voice whether it was in hatred or in affection, just hearing his voice was good enough.



Engulfed by the threatening silence
I no longer speak



The silence was nearly impossible for her to bear, there was no wind, no animals, no nothing to hear sound from.

His voice... she'd never hear his voice again. Although he was male with a rough, deep voice, it didn't change the fact that it was melodic to her, his voice had been her favorite song and she was never going to get to hear it again.

She tried replaying things in her mind, things he'd said that were fresh in her memory, but even though the words were crystal clear, he song couldn't be heard.



I hear nothing
And I can see no more
Helpless, lifeless
as I descent
If only I'm stronger



Her eyes closed, her body shaking. How long has she been there now? Two hours? Three? Four? She didn't know, all she knew was time just didn't seem relevant anymore. She was young, she had plenty of time, and yet she wished she didn't have so much time. Time seemed to become a curse to her. She'd just wait there until time ran out.



Confined in a place so empty
I fear of being incapable to break free
Because I lack the courage



There was a part of her inside of her that had no idea why she was there any ways, why not just get up and leave the problem behind? Many people have suffered things worse then her own situation and still walked away from it.
Maybe it was because she was scared to get up, she didn't understand herself why she'd be scared to get up and walk, but she was, it wasn't anything she could change.



My body, slowly moldering
If only I can walk again
The silent scream inside me
Not even a whisper



Days... she knew she'd been there for that long now, even though it was always dark where she was, she knew it was night when it was pitch black and day when she could still see slightly.
Her breathing had become shallow.
Her time was leaving, just what she wanted, she didn't want time any more, many people struggled to keep their time, but she was just going to throw it away, it was useless to her now.

The side of her that wanted to stay alive was screaming, it should have been a loud piercing sound that could hurt anyone's ears, but there was no sound. Screaming without being heard...



I can never be heard

Entry Category: Default Category
Published On: 09-16-2008 12:42 AM

In order to survive, all living things in this world fight desperately and
devour those they defeat... Must one kill other living things in order to
survive? Must one destroy another world in order to allow one's own world
to continue? The wounded in turn wound and torment those weaker than they
themselves are... There are only the killers and the killed... The sinners
who are judged, and the victims that do the judging. What meaning is there
to such a world?

Entry Category: Default Category
Entry Mood:  (Depressed)
Published On: 09-16-2008 12:41 AM

Insanity leads to chaos
Then to solitude
The fruitless effort of adding
Meaning to what is meaningless
A lone, crimson tear
Falls to the sea...
The echo of the remaining star
Cries out in the infinite vacuum
The least I can do
Is send my distant prayers
Over the wind of time,
Setting sail on dreams..

Entry Category: Default Category
Entry Mood:  (Depressed)
Published On: 09-16-2008 12:40 AM

There's nothing in the world as ruthless or impartial as death. All living matter ages over time and eventually dies... No matter how mighty or tiny its life force... So being alive means you're creeping closer to death with every second... But there's none of that here. No one and nothing ages. Nothing wastes away. This quiet, boundless, and beautiful world... An ideal world, straight out of a fairy tale, isn't it? A place and time that belongs to no one... Res nullius... It's because this is a future that was eliminated!!! History is composed of choices and divergences. Each choice you make creates a new world and brings forth a new future. But at the same time, you're eliminating a different future with the choices you didn't make. A future denied of all existence because of a change in the past... A future that was destroyed before it was even born rests here... condensed into the Dead Sea.

Entry Category: Default Category
Entry Mood:  (Depressed)
Published On: 09-16-2008 12:40 AM

What was the start of all this?
When did the cogs of fate begin to turn?

Perhaps it is impossible to grasp that answer now,
From deep within the flow of time...

But, for a certainty, back then,
We loved so many, yet hated so much,
We hurt others, and were hurt ourselves...

Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
Whilst our laugher echoed,
Under cerulean skies.