[omega 5000]

Well I was looking some of these up and so was Knightmare and they are just either Hilarious, Confusing, Awesome.
So if you have any cool Frases;Paradox's;Quotes or anything similar post them here!

Here are some I found :

  Spoiler: Funny Questions 

*Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?



When cheese gets its picture taken, does it say 'me'?



Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?



Why do we kill people who kill people to show them that killing people is wrong?


I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?



If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?


Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?



Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?



Why does a 'slight tax increase' cost you $200 and a 'substantial tax cut' save you 30 cents?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up about every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


What happens when the future has come and gone?

  Spoiler: Funny Australian Q&A (if your aussie and don't get humor, don't open this 

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website, and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humor.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville, and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: Africa is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Australia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Austria is that quaint little country bordering Germany, which is ... oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in America, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

  Spoiler: Inspiring Quotes 

It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has.
- Henry Ward Beecher


Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much.
- Erich Fromm


We are rich only through what we give, and poor only through what we refuse.
- Anne Sophie Swetchine

Wealth belongs to the person who enjoys it and not to the one who keeps it.
- Afghan Proverb



It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.
- Seneca



Wealth is but dung, useful only when spread about.
- Chinese Proverb

Wisdom helps you to win the game. Think carefully about your next step Temple of Heaven Park, Beijing, China

Knowledge is proud that she knows so much;
Wisdom is humble that she knows no more.
- Cowper


Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something.
–Plato


Wisdom is supreme; therefore make a full effort to get wisdom.
Esteem her and she will exalt you; embrace her and she will honor you.
- Proverbs 4:7-8


Wisdom is more precious than rubies.
- Biblical Proverb, Proverbs 3:15


There is no strength without unity.
- Irish Proverb

A chain is as strong as its weakest link.
- Danish Proverb

A strong person and a waterfall always channel their own path.
- Anonymous

The crocodile is only strong in the water.
- Angolan Proverb



A gentle breeze blowing in the right direction is better than a pair of strong oars.
- Canary Island Proverb

Be patient with your enemies and forgiving of your friends.
- Afghan Proverb

A small house will hold a hundred friends.
- African Proverb



What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
- Aristotle



The only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson



Friendship is not born of words alone.
- Armenian Proverb



Tell me your friends, and I'll tell you who you are.
- Assyrian Proverb



Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.
- Czech Proverb



Bad friends prevent you from having good friends.
- Gabonese Proverb

[Knightmare Zero]

Here's some paradoxes.. most of them get you thinking.

Barber paradox: The adult male barber who shaves all men who do not shave themselves, and no one else. Can he shave himself? (Russell's popularisation of his set theoretic paradox.)
Berry paradox: The phrase "the first number not nameable in under ten words" appears to name it in nine words.
Curry's paradox: "If this sentence is true, the world will end in a week."
Epimenides paradox: A Cretan says: "All Cretans are liars".
Exception paradox: "If there is an exception to every rule, then every rule must have at least one exception, the exception to this one being that it has no exception."
Grelling-Nelson paradox: Is the word "heterological", meaning "not applicable to itself," a heterological word?
Intentionally blank page: Many documents contain pages on which the text "This page is intentionally left blank" is printed, thereby making the page not blank.
Liar paradox: "This sentence is false." This is the canonical self-referential paradox. Also "Is the answer to this question no?"
Opposite Day: "It is opposite day today."
Paradox of the Court: A law student agrees to pay his teacher after winning his first case. The teacher then sues the student (who has not yet won a case) for payment.
Petronius's Paradox: "Practice moderation in all things. Including moderation."
Quine's paradox: "yields a falsehood when appended to its own quotation" yields a falsehood when appended to its own quotation.
Richard's paradox: We appear to be able to use simple English to define a decimal expansion in a way which is self-contradictory.
Socratic paradox: "I know nothing at all."

This is the best one IMO:
Schrodinger's Cat paradox: If a cat is placed inside of a box and can die at any second and the observer closes it, is it alive or dead before he opens it to look?

[Jadeabella]

Ahahahahahaha Those Aussie ones were great XD

lol milk is illegal and the ones about King's Cross XD so funny. For those of you that dont know, Kings Cross is like where all the stripclubs and stuff are. Hehe...Hippo racing....

[Deevious Demon]

LoL the aussie stuff was brilliant, and the paradox's got my brain close to meltdown!

[Akatsuki~FTW]

Originally Posted by megz

Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something.
–Plato

No comment

And LOL Paradoxes make my brain die D:

Originally Posted by Zero

Intentionally blank page: Many documents contain pages on which the text "This page is intentionally left blank" is printed, thereby making the page not blank.

^ how often do I see this on exam papers xD

[omega 5000]

Originally Posted by Knightmare Zero

This is the best one IMO:
Schrodinger's Cat paradox: If a cat is placed inside of a box and can die at any second and the observer closes it, is it alive or dead before he opens it to look?

I can solve the best one
When the scratching stops, you know it's dead

Originally Posted by aka

No comment

I really don't want to go in on this XDD

[Thunderbox]

I lolll'd hard with the Aussie ones. Hilarious xD

[Akatsuki~FTW]

Originally Posted by megz

I really don't want to go in on this XDD

You know you want to Megz =P

and yeah that cat one is pretty funny =P

[BlizzarD]

the only difference between religion and monarchy, is that in religion no one have seen king, but belives that there is one

[aceshigh212]

woot schrodingers cat

explaining that one :P, it applies to quantum mechanics, you have to have a minor comprehension of quantum theory to understand it but here goes

i won't explain too much here, and what i do will only be skimming the surface, but in quantum mechanics, things can apparently be in multiple states (such as multiple positions at once), and it's all based on probability. I.e, an electron can be here, or there, or in both places at once (their is a confusing double slit experiment that explains the shocking reality of this, which i could try to explain to you, but I would do a mediocre job at it and it would only confuse everyone further). Their is alot more too it then that, but if i go any further il open a pandora's box of explanations and various interpretations of what it all means.

so schrodinger proposed if you put a cat in a box with poison that is set to release when a radioactive isotope decay. As a result, the cat is "entangled" with the radioactive isotope, because it's decay means the cat will die, similar to 2 entangled particles or a particle in entangled superpositions (2 states at once). What is the condition of the cat? because radioactive decay is based on probability, we can never be sure when that specific sample has decayed. Therefore their is a certain probability that the cat is dead, or alive, or both at the same time. It is in superposition of these 3 possibilities, However the concept of being both dead and alive at the same time is utterly ridiculous, and we know that it can't really happen. So this whole thing was schrodinger's stab at "Quantum Weirdness" (Keep in mind schrodinger's contributions to quantum mechanics were immense and he was among the most important of physicists in the field) I believe that physicists eventually resolved this with "decoherence" which PRETTY MUCH (this isn't precise) states that entanglement doesn't apply in the macroscopic world due to the immense number of entanglements going on i.e one atom would be entangled to a thousand different atoms, therefore it demonstrating the effects of a single one of these entanglements would be nearly impossible. A book i read compared it to you or I "unshuffling" a deck of cards except extremely more difficult.


keep in mind this is rough as i was in a rush, but that's the jist of it,