[omega 5000]

So I am writing a movie. I have made the ending (maybe i'll change 2/3 things)
And I'm working on the middle piece.
And if you r thinking why I work like that it's because the first part is usually the toughest cause you need to explain everything in a short amount of time.
Anyway I'll write the ending here and I want your honest opinion some positive criticism.

ENDING

So the hero as always finishes the fight and won but...........there was like still one guy barely alive at his last effort to kill one of them he shots something [not sure what yet ] and the hero saves his partner which also is his "love", while all the others stand watching like .
Then it kinda fades out.
Then you see the grave of the hero with the girl kneeling in front of it and bowing on his grave just bolling out tears and also his friends, family and the hole town there they r all crying but the girl is just bawling.
And then you see a flashback of his life [like when he just joined the team and also before he went in that battle]
When this song is going threw.....

When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne music video & lyrics - MuVids

Hope you all find it really sad and if it gets produced or something, I hope everybody like cries the theaters [even the dudes ]

PLZ LEAVE YOUR HONEST OPINION HERE.

[Varemia]

If it's a ninja-like naruto movie it sounds like it might be good, maybe better if the hero inspired someone to do better than he did. Also on a side note, I have to let you know that it's spelled "bawling". ^_\

[Shino]

Well, if you ask me, a flashback scene with that song would probably be better if the 'teacher' of the protagonist died... Well, depending on if you follow the typical hero's journey model...

Though, the hero dying would probably be better with a heavy orchestra based song, one without words maybe...

The problem with that song that I have, other than the fact that I don't like Avril Lavigne, is that it sounds like it would be on a television drama show...


But I do like it in a sadistic way when heroes die...

[Filip The Great]

It sucks....
No....No...Im joking

it sounds good..
But will it look good..That is the question...

[mastaz911]

I think you have a basic idea, but you might want to be more descriptive of the environment. If this "movie" that you're writing is pure script that you're writing only you can kinda describe their facial expressions, surroundings, how people react, blah blah...

[Nat9narutolover]

Sounds good to me...But here a question how are you gonna make that movie?? Is it gonna be anime type thing or like real ppl kinda thing...? But over all It's good...Oh...and maybe the hero should like not die...cuz, well it's dramatic and ya usually the hero is really close to death but servives or something like that... It just sounds weird because the hero usually servives...Well thats my opinoin...And could you answer the question abouve please...Thnx

[omega 5000]

FAQ's

Q; Is it gonna be anime type thing or like real ppl kinda thing

A; It's kinda like anime and cartoon but with real ppl. (more or less it's kinda like the combination of all the good fight anime's and cartoon's )

Q: and maybe the hero should like not die...cuz, well it's dramatic and ya usually the hero is really close to death but servives or something like that... It just sounds weird because the hero usually servives

A; I didn't to make a twist in the movie and not to let it be like just another movie
and I want it to be a sad ending but also really heroic (because he dies saving his love )

And thx everyone for the comments

[temari_3.14159]

Honestly,
and I'm not saying this to be mean or anything,
but
it sounds
trite, predictable, banal, overdone...
it sounds like an ending to so many other movies...
the ending isn't a major twist,
it's predictable.
It's been done...

I hope you don't think that I'm just saying that because I'm a girl and feel pissy or something,
that's how I truly think...
those endings make me roll my eyes.

it's hard to overcome the predictable without it being totally out there,
but maybe you could improve the predictable scene
by
having the hero be the one who's almost dead, and then there's the flashback, and then he gathers his strength and shoots the evil dude with the last of his strength...

[omega 5000]

Ah good point but no offense the hero last strength thing comes more often then the hero dies. Usually the hero does what you said about last strength

[temari_3.14159]

I was admitting the predictability of that, but if you want tears, that is a better way to go... and the hero still dies in the end...